


Stolen Dance

by Winmance



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Hurt Dean, Hurt Sam, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-06 20:47:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11608632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winmance/pseuds/Winmance
Summary: When John told them that they were moving with his new girlfriend and her sons, Dean saw his world crashing. As a resultant, Sam and him become even more close than before, and everybody isn't happy with that.





	1. You by my side

 

**Chapter 1- You by my side**

 

   The minute John told them that it was over, Dean knew that his life was over too. He saw all his world crashing, and he could swear his heart had stop beating.

No more hunt, no more demons, vampire, ghost, no more shitty motel, no more road trip over the country. Everything was over. John didn’t say anything more than that. He didn’t say if the demon was dead, he didn’t say what they will be doing now. Hunting was all Dean know, all he was good at. He was a soldier. He was a hero. He was a killer. But what was he now ?

He didn’t say anything neither, because at this moment, his brain was dead. They were in the car, and Dean wonder where they were going. Did they will live in a house ? How could they paid for it ?

“I met someone. A woman. We’re going at her place. She got children. Be nice and polite.”

Dean wanted to scream. His life was over, but his dad’s life seem shining. A woman. Did his dad was in love ? Since when does he know her ? How many times did he left Sam and him, telling them that he was hunting, when he was in fact with her ? Dean was put out off his thought when he feels Sam’s hand on his.

His brother looked as lost as he was. Dean gave him a tiny smile, that he hoped was reassuring. Sam. He would focus on Sam. Because this ? It was good for him. It was all he ever wanted. A home, a family. Not being the new kid over and over again. It also means that now, Sam wasn’t in danger anymore. He would not be killed or injured anymore. He would be happy. And that was the only thing that really matter. Dean world wasn’t burning or crashing, because Dean world was Sam, and Sam would be happy.

His father stopped the car in front of a beautiful white house. It was the perfect American house, with the perfect flowers, the perfect children and the perfect wife.

She was waiting for them on the doorstep, a big smile on her face. She was beautiful, Dean would say that. She was brown, with long hair, a nice dress with flowers on it, blues eyes. Yes, he could totally see why his father choose her.

John was in front of them, and he takes her in his arms and kiss her. Dean had seen his father with others women, generally, he only saw them once, and John never took them to the motel room. But now, he was in front of them, kissing her, looking at her with love. And Dean feel tears in his eyes. His father deserved to be happy, he really did. But it’s still hurt, to see his father love another woman. His mom should be here. She should be the one he was kissing.

“You must be Sam and Dean” She smiled even bigger “I’m Alicia”

Dean shook her hand, a forced smile on his face. “Nice to meet you”

Sam was glue to him, like he was afraid someone would take him away from him. In another situation, Dean would have laughs. Right now, he only presses more against him.

“Come on, I will show you the house”

Turn out the house was as perfect as Dean thought she would be. Alicia had two children : Mateo, who was 9, and Kevin, who was 14, like Sam. They had their own rooms, with a lot of trophies, posters, pictures, and all the things Sam and him never had. He was a little jealous, but then he remembers all the good that they had done. They saved people. They were heroes.

When Alicia told them that they will have to share a room, Dean was relieved. He would never say it loud, but he loved sharing a room with his brother. He loved being able to tell when Sam was asleep, when he was dreaming or having a nightmare, knowing that his brother was safe, here, with him. The night was also special for them, it was when they would talk about everything they wanted, share secrets, and all the things they wanted. It was when they were together, and in those moments, nothing else matters. Dean was glad that they still could have this.

“I know it sucks to share a room with someone else, and I promised it’s only a temporary situation. We will turn the office into a room for one of you. It’s just that everything happened so fast… But I’m really glad that you are here” She keeps smiling and looking at them with nice eyes, like she knows how they felt. But how could she know ?

“It’s okay. We always share room.” Sam offered her a little smile

“Fine. We will let you install yourself. Dinner will be ready at 7, you can go in all the rooms, it’s not a problem. If you have any questions, come to see me”

With that, she finally leaves them. Her sons weren’t here. Apparently, they spend the weekend with their father but would have dinner with them. Not like Dean care.

The room was bigger than what they were used to. It was nothing fancy, but it was nice. Dean took the bed forward the door and put his bag on it.

“Think you’re up for visiting the rest of the house?”

Sam only shook his head. He seemed completely lost. Dean couldn’t blame him. Everything happened so fast. But they will be ok. They always were. 

There weren’t anything really interesting in the house. Everything seem perfect and calculated. Some pictures of Alicia and her boys were all over the house, big smile on their faces. They weren’t any picture of Mateo and Kevin’s father. Dean continued looking at the picture until he saw it. Alicia, Kevin, Mateo, and John. Dean froze. Judging by the clothes and the decoration, it was Christmas. He took the picture and returned it. 1993. A ghost. That was the reason why his father couldn’t be with them this time. At least, that what he told them. Dean remember Sam telling that it was bullshit, that their father just didn’t want to spend Christmas with them. Dean had defended their father, like always. How many times did John told them he was hunting when he was living another life with his perfect family ? It wasn’t fair. They deserved happiness too, happy memories, normal life. They never had this, and it was ok because their mission was too important. But now it was different, because John had some news happy memories, with another family. Does he think about Sam and Dean when he was with them ? Or does he thought about them when he was with Sam and Dean ?

“You’re good Dean ?”

Dean turned his head towards his brother and gave him the best smile he could. He puts the picture where it was, hoping that Sam wouldn’t look at it. He hated their father enough without that.

“Sure. I’m kinda of angry. You think we will eat pizzas ?”

“I don’t know. I think she is cooking something”

Sam was tensed, Dean could saw that. Hell, he was tensed too. But he needed too big strong for his brother, give him a chance of being happy.

“What’s on your mine Sammy ?” He asked softly

“It’s just…” His voice was shaking, and Dean have to fight against the urge to take him in his arms.

“I know.” He simply answers “But it’s good Sammy. You will see. And if it’s not, at least, we will be together”

“Always ?” Sam looked at him directly in the eyes and Dean could read fear in them, but also love. So much love. He hoped Sam could see that in his eyes too.

“Always.”

 

 

 

 

When they get down stare, dinner was already served, and Alica’s children just entered into the house.

“John !” They both yelled, a big smile on their faces.

“Hey boys” John replies with a smile as big as their own. He never smiles like that for Sam and him, and he sure as hell never hugs them like he was doing with Matteo and Kevin.

“Of course he loves them.” Sam voice was only a whisper, and he probably hoped that it show how angry he was. But Dean know him too well. His brother’s heart was as broken as his own right now.

“You want dad to hugs you ?” Dean looked at him with a disgust face, like it was the most horrific thing Sam could want.

“Well, I mean, no but... God you’re such a jerk” Sam was smiling. A tiny smile, but still

“Oh Sam darling, don’t say that to your brother. We don’t swear in the house” Alicia was in front of them, smiling so much that it probably hurts her.

“He just say jerk” Dean replies with a smile, because honestly, he couldn’t see how she could consider this as swearing.

“Dean don’t reply” His father gave him a hard look and Dean know better than to reply.

“Sorry ” He definitely wasn’t

“That ok. I completely get it. We all will need some time to adjust at this new life right ?” Alicia set at the table “Come on, let’s eat”  


 

The rest of the dinner passed without any other problem, but Dean was more than glad when they went to their room. It had been a really long day. He was starting to fall asleep when he heard someone calling his name next to him.

“Sammy ?” His brother was standing next to his bed, playing with his hands. He was nervous. “What is wrong ?”

“I… I can’t sleep.”

Dean bit his tongue. Sam and him stopped sharing bed sometime ago because they both were too big. That was at least what Dean told him.

“You… You want to sleep with me ?”

He didn’t even have time to finished his sentence that Sam was already in his bed, curling against him. Dean puts his arms around him. It was nice to have his brother with him.

“Does it scare you ?” Sam whispered

Dean thought about what answer was best. He could say no, because he was Dean, he wasn’t supposed to be scared. But Sam didn’t need a hero or a soldier right now. He needed his brother.

“Yeah. I am. It’s just... It’s so crazy, I have so many questions… But this is our chance of having a normal life”

Sam didn’t answer for a long time and Dean thought he was sleeping

“This isn’t our only chance Dean. We could have a normal life, together, you and me, if you wanted.”

“What do you mean Sammy ?”

“It’s just… Doesn’t you feel like dad had lie to us for all this time ? It doesn’t feel like a normal life. This isn’t our family, it never will be. I just… I want a normal life, with or without dad. The only thing that matter, it’s that we are together.”

Dean pressed Sam harder against his chest.

“If you don’t like it here, or if you want to go, I promise you that I will go with you.”

He could feel Sam body starting to relax. He smiled and kissed his brother hair. As long as they were together, everything would be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it !  
> English isn't my first language, so I apologize if there is any fault


	2. Drag you away from me

**Chapter 2-  Drag you away from me**

 

  It’s been a month since they first move here, and things were getting harder and harder. Their father was completely different with Matteo and Kevin, talking to them, playing with them, everything that a perfect father would do. Dean know his father love him and Sam, but it still hurt to see him being like that with them.

Alicia was nice most of the time, but she seems false. Dean know how to read people, and he could tell that Alicia wasn’t as nice as she seemed. Of course, Sam and Dean were nothing like her sons. They were independent, quiet. They didn’t talk about their day with her, didn’t ask her to make them sandwich or helped them with their homework. But that wasn’t was bother her the most. It was Sam and Dean closeness. The last four weeks, they seemed more close than they never been. 

After the first night, Sam moved his bed next to Dean’s, so they could sleep all nights together. They eat together at school, and when it was over, Sam would go to Dean’s work with him. It just feel better like this, and Dean couldn’t understand why she was looking at them like they had killed all her family.

Tonight, they were having dinner with Alicia’s friends. Apparently, John had already met all of them, and quickly, more than ten people were at the table, talking and laughing. Sam was next to him, his chair so close to his that he was particle on his lap. But Dean didn’t mind.

“So Dean, Alicia told me that you were working at the garage ?” One of Alicia’s friend asked him. Maybe it was Matthew, or William. He really didn’t care.

“Yeah, I love car”

Over the lasts weeks, Alicia had told them that she would like that they answer questions with more than a yes or a no. Dean was making some fucking efforts here.

“And you Sam, what are you into ?” It was Elisabeth, Theo’s wife, that was speaking now

“Books.” Sam answers with a tiny smile

“You must be good at school then ?”

“I’m… School is fine.”

“Sam is a genius, the smartest people I have ever meet. He’ve got A everywhere. He’s awesome.” Dean reply. He was proud of his brother, but sometime he feels like Sam doesn’t know how smart he his, and it’s Dean role to reminds him.

His brother was blushing, a big smile on his face. God, he was so cute like that. Dean gave him a little push with his shoulder and winked.

Alicia was at the end of the time, and Dean saw her turning white. She shared a look with her friends, like if she was trying to tell them something. Dean didn’t like it.

“You know Sam, I’m working at the library, and we are looking for someone who could work with us. Would you be interested ?”

“Y-Yeah, It could be cool, but I don’t know if I had time…”

“It’s right after school, instead of going at Dean’s work, you would go to the library, with people of your own age. I think it’s a brilliant idea.” Alicia was smiling at Sam like she could enter in his head and forced him to say yes.

“But I love being with Dean” Dean could hear anger in his brother voice

Everybody stopped speaking, and Alicia seemed more than embarrassed.

“What is the real deal here ?” Dean was looking at Alicia, challenging her to say anything against Sam or him.

“I think, and I’m not the only one, that you two are… Too close.” She takes a big breath and continued “It’s not healthy, it’s not normal, it’s weird. Some time apart would be good for you two.”

Dean could hear his heart beating in his ear. Of course Sam and him were close. He practically raise Sam. They grow up together. They got nothing but each other in this world, they needed to be together. Sam was his best friend. And Dean was his.

He feels Sam tensed next to him and before he could answer, his brother nodded.

“Yes… You want to work with me ?” Elisabeth asked with her voice full of hope

“Yeah” Sam whispered, not even raising his head from his food

“Why ?” Dean voice was much more broken than he wanted it to be, but he couldn’t care less right now

“Dean your brother’s say yes” It was the first words that his father say, and when Dean looked at him, he could see that his father agree with the others.

There was a silence for a minute or two before everything came back as before. They were all talking and laughing like nothing even happened. But Dean couldn’t eat, couldn’t speak or anything. Why would Sam wanted to be away from him ? If he was honest, he knew this day would come, when Sam would realize that Dean was enough, that he wasn’t smart, or even interesting, that one day Sam wouldn’t see him like a hero, but like the failure he was. He though he would see it come, see Sam looking at him with pity inside of love in his eyes. But he didn’t see it. Maybe he just didn’t want to see it.

Next to him, Sam was as quiet as him, and he looked like he just get hit by a train. A part of Dean was happy that Sam may feel guilty, but the biggest part couldn’t let Sam like that.

 

 

Three hours later, everyone was gone and Sam and Dean went to their room. They didn’t talk or even look at each other since the diner, but Dean know that he had to told his brother it was ok, even if it wasn’t. Sam shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting to be away from him. Hell, if he could, he would get away from himself.

“I get it, you know. So you don’t need to feel guilty about it. I just want the best for you”

Sam stopped what he was doing and look at Dean with eyes full of questions.

“You get what ?”

Dean swallowed heavily and close his eyes. Of course Sam had to make things even harder.

“That you don’t want to spend time with me anymore. I know why, and I understand.”

Sam didn’t seem to be convinced, but he didn’t say anything. Dean hoped that he would tell him that he was wrong, that he loved to spend time with him, that he loved him. But it never came.

This night, for the first time since they went to this house, they both slept in their own beds.


	3. Loneliness

  **Chapter 3 - Loneliness**

 

  After that night, it was like Sam and Dean were complete strangers.

The morning, Sam would wake up before Dean, and when Dean was ready for school, Sam was already gone, without a word for his brother. At school, they didn’t sit together anymore, didn’t text during classes, or even looked at each other in the hallway. After school, Sam was at the library, and when he come back, he would avoid Dean as much as he could.

It was killing Dean. He never felt so alone, even after the fire, when he would lay on his bed and cry because he missed his mommy, his home and all the others things that were taking from him, and all he wanted was someone who would give him a hug. John was to broken for playing attention to him, so Dean would hug Sammy, because he was sure that Sam was as sad as he was. Now, however, he couldn’t, because Sam was getting away from him, and for the first time, he was truly alone.

He stopped eating. He stopped sleeping. Even working on Baby didn’t make him happy anymore. It was like something was in his chest, growing and growing every day and taking all his energy. He wanted to throw up, to yell at Sam, at his dad, anyone, to look at him, talk to him. He was going mad, like he was invisible, a ghost. One time, he didn’t come home for two days, just walking on a bridge, wondering who would miss him. When he got home, nobody asked where he was. He wished he had jump. He wished he was dead. Because who would want to live such a lonely life ?

But he couldn’t jump, couldn’t die. He need to protect Sam, because hunter or not, monsters are still here, ready to kill. So even if Sam didn’t love him anymore, he was still his whole world, his baby brother, and he had to protect him.

Sam didn’t seem better than him. He wasn’t eating properly, wasn’t speaking to anyone, and didn’t smile anymore. Dean miss Sam’s smile so much. He couldn’t understand why Sam was so depress. Maybe he had problem with a girl ? Dean stomach ache when he though about that. He realized that his love for Sam was way bigger than just brother love last year, and when they move into this house, it only gets bigger. Maybe Sam saw the way Dean looked at him, the way he acted with him, and maybe that’s why he was acting so weirdly. He was probably scared that Dean would do something to him. It makes Dean felt even worse. How could he think like that about his little brother ? How could he destroy their relationship like that ? If it was possible, he would hate himself even more.

Alicia seems pretty happy about the situation, like she couldn’t see how miserable both of them were. She kept smiling, telling Sam that she was proud of him, ignoring Dean completely –not that he would complain. If Dean though she was kind at first, now he could see that she was a complete bitch, and he was the only one who saw her for what she really was.

 

 

Right now, he was at school, not even playing attention to what Mr. Switz was saying. Sam was in math class, 3 classrooms away from him. Maybe if he thought about him really strong, he could pretend that Sam was right here with him.

He came out of his thought when someone called his name. According by the look of the Mr. Switz, he had already been called several times.

“Hum ?” He simply asked. Honestly, he couldn’t care less about what they wanted

“I say, the principal is waiting for you right now”

“Why ?” He still didn’t have moved

“I don’t know, Mister Winchester” His teacher was really annoyed now “Something about your brother I think”

He didn’t even have finished his sentence that Dean was out of the classroom, running in the hallway. Did Sam was hurt ? Maybe one of the bully hit him to strong ? A Thousand of scenarios were running in Dean’s head when he entered in the office.

Sam was here too, sit on a chair. His head was down, and he was playing with his hands. Dean didn’t even notice the others people in the room, and knelt in front of his brother, touching every part of his body, searching for any injuries.

“Are you okay Sammy ?” He tried to make eyes contact with him, but Sam keep looking at the floor

“Yeah”

Dean stopped what he was doing, the reality coming back right in his face. Sam didn’t love or like him anymore. He finally looked at the people in the room.

The principal was here, as well as the nurse, and one of Sam teacher.

“What is going on ?” He asked, hoping that the fear in his voice wasn’t too present

“We notice that Sam seemed a little off lately, and we wanted to talk about it with your parents, but Sam asked us not too. Apparently, he would rather that we talk with you instead. Since it’s only a little conversation, we agree with him” His teacher’s voice was soft, and he was smiling at Sam, like it would make Sam feel better.

Dean wanted to throw up. He did that to his brother. He broke him at the point where the school was concerned about him.

“Yeah I… I noticed too. It’s just… A lot changed in our life lately, and it’s pretty hard to get used to it. But it will be okay, we are working on” Dean smiled too, hoping that it would be satisfactory for everyone.

It seemed to work, because now they were all looking at Sam.

“You agree with what your brother say Sam ?”

“Yeah. I need to get used to it, that’s all.” He tried to give a smile but it came out as a grimace.

The nurse handed some papers to Dean. When he looked at them, he felt even more sick. It was flyers about depression, suicide, and all the others things that Dean refused to associate with his Sammy.

“Maybe you should read them, see if you recognize Sam comportment in them.” The nurse say that like it was nothing, like she wasn’t saying that Sam may wanted to die.

“I will” He replied, not letting any emotions crossing his face “Can I take Sam home ?”

“Yes, we think it would be better” The principal reply

After that, they get up and walk in direction of the parking. It was like walking into a nightmare. He was supposed to protect Sam, to be here for him, so he would never felt alone or scare. But here he was, causing his brother depression.

When they get in the car, neither of them had spoke yet. As much as he hated to talked about feeling and all that shit, Dean knew that he needed to do it.

“Sam I… I’m so sorry” His voice was broken, and he could feel tears in his eyes “You don’t deserve any of that. Nothing is your fault. I’m a terrible brother and a terrible person but that as nothing to do with you. I… I’m not gonna hurt you. Never. I will respect what you want, what you don’t want, even if it’s not what I want. You are the only thing that matter Sammy. And… yeah... I’m sorry”

Sam was looking at him now, really looking at him, and Dean could see hurt, fear, and some others things that he couldn’t name in them.

“What are you talking about Dean ?”

It was the first sentence that Sam say to him since the dinner, and Dean couldn’t help but fell warm inside. It was so good to hear his voice again.

“I… I did that too you. Make you depressed and all” He was really not good at this.

“You didn’t do anything Dean. If someone should feel bad, it would be me. I’m the one who destroy our relation, not you”

“No, Sam, it’s not your fault. It’s me. I’m the only one to blame here”

Did Sam really think it was his fault ? Dean read that once, how victim sometime think they are the one to blame.

“Can you stop that ?” Sam was yelling now “I’m the one who couldn’t let you more than five minutes alone, who keep following you everywhere, who have those…” He stopped and looked at the floor before looking at Dean again. “I just… I miss you so much Dean. You have no idea. It’s like someone took my heart out of my chest. I can’t breathe without you. And I’m the one who cause that. I can see that you’re not happy neither. But I just… I wanted to do what was right.” Tears were rolling on his cheeks now, and before he even realized what he was doing, Dean took Sam in his arms. It was like coming to life again.

He missed his brother, missed his soft hair, his smell, his heat, everything.Sam head was in the crook of his neck, and Dean could feel hot tears running.

They stay like that for a long time, just enjoying each other embrace, before Dean finally put away. He took Sam's face in his hands and wiped the tears off his cheeks. He was so beautiful, with his big blue eyes full of love. Dean wanted to kiss him so much. But he couldn’t. Sam need his big brother, he couldn’t take that away from him.

“You really thought that we… That our relation was… Bad ?”

“I don’t know Dean. Maybe ? I mean, we’re closer than normal brothers, and I thought that I was holding you done. I…” Sam stopped, not sure of what to say “I wanted to do the best for you”

Dean could see that there was something that Sam didn’t want to tell him, but he would respect that. He was already more than happy that Sam would talk to him again. For days, he thought that Sam hated him, that he was such a failure that his brother didn’t want to talk to him.

“Never think that you get away from me is what is best for me. You’re all my life Sammy, all that matter for me. I can’t… I can’t live without you.” He put his hands in Sam’s hair. He couldn’t get enough of it. “Promise me that you will never let anyone get in your head like that Sam. Anything that they say, it doesn’t matter. Only us matter”

Sam give him a smile before going back in his arms. He needed touch as much as Dean. Dean put little kiss on Sam’s head, savoring the moment.

Dean sight in relief. With Sam by his side, everything will be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos and comments,  
> Tell me what you think about this new chapter !


	4. Starving Touch

 

**Chapter 4 - starving touch**

 

 Sam and Dean were lying on their bed - well, Dean’s bed actually, not that it matters- facing each other. Sam keep tracing Dean’s freckles, while his brother was caressing his hair. Two months ago, Dean would have make fun of Sam for wanting to do that, probably calling him a chick or something like that. Sam wouldn’t have asked, because even him could see that it was weird. But right now, after everything that happened, they needed it.

They soon realize that this new life, this “normal” life, was all but easy. They keep waiting for something to happened, for a monster to come, for something to burned. But nothing came, and it was hard to accepted. They had passed all their lives fighting against monsters, training, moving, and suddenly, everything was over. They were out of the picture in this family. John, Alicia and her boys were always smiling, laughing, spending time together. Their father would talk to Mateo and Kevin with a soft voice, but still gave orders to Sam and Dean, like nothing had changed, like he didn’t turn their life upside down. More than ever, Sam and Dean realized that they only got each other.

The weeks of separation hurt them both more than they could ever admit. They didn’t talk about it and the only time one of them mention it was when Sam says that he wanted to quit his job. Dean told him not to, because he could see that his brother’s love it, and it wasn’t fair for him. Apart from that, it was like nothing had happened. Except for the fact that they both needed to touch each other all the time. It was like they wanted to make sure the other was still here, that everything was alright. Dean had felt so alone, so desperate, that every touch Sam was giving him was like a warm sunlight after a cold winter. When Sam wasn’t talking to him, the only thing he could feel was pain, over and over again, like he was stuck in another dimension, forced to watch but unable to interact. So now, he would make sure to take all the love he could from Sam, because he wasn’t sure how long it would last.

“Do you think Alicia like us ?” Sam shyly asked

“I don’t know. Do we like her ?” Honestly, Dean’s feeling were more close to hate than anything else, but he couldn’t tell Sam.

“Well… I mean, she accepted us in her home, she gave us a room, food, and everything, but… I dunno… Sometimes I will catch her looking at us like we were some kind of monsters”

“Looking at us, or at me, Sammy ?” Dean asked softly

Sam didn’t answer, but his hand stopped moving. Dean had seen how Alicia was looking at him, even more now that they were close again, and he also saw how she was looking at Sam : with pity and sadness, like he was a victim. He would never said anything, because he thought that maybe it was all in his head, that he was projecting what would happen if someone knew about his feelings for Sam.

“At you, I guess” It was only a whisper, like Sam was afraid to even say it. “But that doesn’t matter which one of us she’s looking like that. I just don’t understand why”

“I don’t know. Maybe she thinks I’m too hot for being real” Dean joked, hoping that it would change the subject.

Sam rolled his eyes, but Dean could clearly see his lips curved into a smile. God, how much he missed that smile.

“It’s because she doesn’t know you. If she knew you, she will know that you are a hero, not a monster.” Sam was looking at him directly in the eyes, like he was trying to convince him.

Dean fell a wave of guilt shuddering through him. What kind of hero would want his baby brother like him ? Alicia was right, Dean was nothing more than a monster. If only Sam could saw that, saw what a freak he is. Maybe he would run away from good. Hell, he should do that. Because Sam doesn’t deserve that.

“Did I say something ?” Sam asked, worry in his voice

“No Sammy, it’s just… I’m not a hero. I… I’m more a monster than a hero” The words were caught in his throat. If Sam ask him why he would say that, Dean had no idea what he would say, but he needed to told his brother that he wasn’t as perfect as he thought.

Sam gave him a sad smile and put head in Dean’s neck. He could have sworn that he felt his brother place a kiss on it, but it wasn’t going to say anything.

“Nobody is perfect Dean. But I know you, and for me, you’re a hero. Nothing could ever changed that”

Dean was gonna answer when the door opened. Alicia was in front of them, a chock expression of his face. Next to her, there was a woman that they never seen before. They both jump out of the bed, like there were caught in the act. Dean tried to cool down.

“What are you doing ?” She tried to stay as calm as she could, but it was clear that she was angry

“Just talking” Dean answered with a big smile. Yes, maybe he was a monster for wanting his brother, but like hell someone other than Sam would judge him on that.

“You-“ Whatever she was going to say get lost when the woman put her hand on her shoulder. Alicia took a big breath, and like nothing happened, smiled once again “This is Katherine. She’s here to help us with… Our family situation”

“Our family situation ?” Dean frowned

“Yes. Like how we should interact with each other, your relation with your father, with me, with my kids” She hesitated a moment “You and your brother relation.”

She say that by looking directly in Dean eyes, like she could see right in his soul, all his dirty secrets and feelings. Dean tried to stay as calm as possible, but he was burning.

“Sam’s school call me, because apparently, they think that there is a problem at home.” Alicia was clearly accusing Dean. Well, he couldn’t really blame her on that one. “So I ask Katerine to come. She’s a psychologist”

“There no problem” Sam reply, talking directly at Katerine “I wasn’t feeling very well, but now it’s much better. We don’t need your help”

Katherine gave him a tiny smile, like she felt sorry for him. And really, people should stop looking at Sam like that because soon, Dean would fucking kill them.

“I talk with both your parents-“

“She’s not our mom” Sam cut her, anger filling his voice

There was an awkward silence and Dean could swear that he saw hurt in Alicia’s eyes.

“Right, I’m sorry.” Katherine clear her throat, visibly embarrassed “I talk to your father and Alicia, and I can clearly see that there are a lot of problems that I could help you resolved.”

“And those problems included my brother and me relationship ?” Dean could barely recognize his brother voice

“Yes” Was all they got for an answer

Dean was in a nightmare. That was one thing if Alicia was suspicious, but a psychologist ? That couldn’t be good. They could take Sam away from him, legally. It wasn’t like it would be hard to got Sam back, Dean perfectly know how to do that, but It would put both of them in big troubles. In the other hand, that wasn’t like he was doing anything to Sam. He never touched him in a sexual way or anything like that. What was in his head was his own business.

“I don’t know what Alicia told you, but Dean and I have a normal relationship. Alicia doesn’t like my brother, that’s all”

Alicia let out a sight and gave Sam a sad look.

“Sweetie, I have nothing against your brother. I just want you to be happy”

“I am happy. When I’m with Dean” Sam was clearly challenged her

“We will talk about that later. Tonight, we will have a nice dinner all together, and we will see what is the best to do.” Katherine didn’t leave any place for conversation and leave the room has fast as she entered it, following by close by Alicia.

“Fuck” Was all Dean managed to say.

“It’s ok Dean. What she’s gonna do ? Told us that we are to close ? That the worse she can do, believe me”

Dean put his head between his hands. It was dangerous, too dangerous.

“Sam I… She could take you away from me”

Sam frowned. Of course, how could he know that his big brother wanted him as a lover ?

“How ?”

“By telling that we… That we are too close.”

“And ? It’s a crime” Sam tried to smile, but it came out as a grimace

“No. But incest is” Dean whispered

Sam didn’t say anything, simply looking at Dean. There wasn’t any expression on his face, nothing to tell Dean what his brother was thinking. That was it. Sam was gonna get up, open the door, and never turn to look at Dean again.

It seems like forever before Sam finally say something.

“We never did anything.” Was all he say.

Dean was waiting for something else, but apparently, Sam was done talking about it.

“You think we could go to cinema tonight ? I mean, after everybody went to sleep. It’s been a long time”

Dean was still chocked by the lack of reaction from his brother. He practically confessed that he have incestuous thought, and all his brother could do was talking about going out with him ? Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. Usually, Dean was the one that avoid talking, but Sam was always found of all the “We should talk about our feelings” things. This, right now, wasn’t his brother at all.

He realized that he still hasn’t answer Sam question. He tried to look as much confident as he could before saying yes.

“Cool” Sam gave him a big smile and get back in the bed.

Dean wonder for a moment if he hadn’t jump from the bridge all those weeks ago, because this could not be happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave a comment, it's always motivating ;)  
> Hope you like this chapter !


	5. Never dance like this before

**Chapter 5 - Never dance like this before**

 

  To say that the dinner was awkward wasn’t enough.

Sam, Dean and Alicia were next to each other, Kevin, Mateo and Katerine in front of them and their dad in the end of the table. Both Alicia and Katerine try to convince Sam to sit next to his father, as far away from Dean as he could be, but Sam refused, and set his chair closer to Dean’s.

“So, tell me more about you boys. What were you doing before coming here?” Katherine asked, big smile on her face

“I was a commercial. We moved a lot” John reply

Katerine must have been offense by John’s tone, because she was nervously passing her hand on her hair, sending a glance to Alicia, who mimes a little sorry with her mouth.

Dean couldn’t help but smile at his dad behavior. At least, it means that his dad wasn’t happy about Katerine being here neither. Since they moved here, their father rarely talk to them, only telling them once in a while that they must continued the training, even if they already do it every morning. At first, Dean had hoped that their new style of life will get their father to be more a dad to them, but it was the opposite. On the road, Dean and his dad were close, but now, it was like they were strangers. It hurts, but at least he has Sam, and nothing else is more important than that.

“And with who your sons were staying when you were working ?”

“Alone. They both are responsible”

“You left your two sons alone ?” Katherine practically choked when she heard that

John clenched his jaw, and the look he sends to Katerine would have made anyone afraid.

“ Yes, I did. Because nobody could protect my sons better than themselves”

“Protect them for what ?”

Both Katerine and Alicia were looking at John with questioning looks.

“Things. Now, I would like you to stop questioning how I raise my boys.” John tone didn’t leave any place for conversations.

They were all eating in silence again, no one daring to talk after John intervention, when Dean feels a hand on him. At first, it was on his knees, but it rapidly progresses forward his thigh. He looked at his brother, wondering what he was doing, but Sam only gave him an innocent smile. Dean didn’t know how to react or why Sam was doing that. Maybe he was trying to comfort him after what happened in the afternoon? It was probably as innocent as it looks, only a little brother comforting his big bro. Except that nothing was innocent when Sam rested his hand on the top of his thigh, dangerously close to his groin. Dean tries to calm his hormones, telling his body that it was nothing, but the warm feeling of Sam’s hand was too distracting.

His face must have shown because Katerine was looking at him, frowned eyebrows.

“I’m not feeling really good” He says, teeth clamped against each other

“We should go to bed.” Sam says firmly “If it’s ok with you, of course” He was looking at Alicia with his puppy eyes

She hesitated a moment but nobody could resist Sam’s puppy eyes.

“Yes, you can go. We will talk more tomorrow”

They both say goodnight after clearing their plates, and walked in direction of their room. Even if Alicia had proposed them to give them the office for one of them to have his own room, they both refused.

Dean wonders if he should talk about what happened during the dinner to Sam. What if he misunderstood what Sam did? It sure couldn’t be sexual. Maybe it was just Sam messing with him, or trying to comfort him. In all the cases, he couldn’t say anything, because who could consider his brother’s touch like sexual approach? Plus, even if he knows it’s bad, he had loved feeling Sam’s hand against his body. It was horrific, abusing his little brother like that, but what Sam doesn’t know can’t hurt him right?

“So, you’re still up for the movie?” Sam asked, without even looking at his brother

“Don’t think it’s a good idea Sammy. What about we watch a movie from here? I saw some cool movies in the office”

Sam was ready to protest, but then he stopped, looked at Dean for a second, and smiled again.

“Yeah, we can watch it from our bed !”

“My bed, you mean” Dean tries to look piss, but honestly, hearing Sam talking about their bed was too much for him.

Sam rolled his eyes and jumped on the bed. “Yeah sure, if you want”

Dean didn’t respond and went to the office. This thing with Sam was fucking with his brain. Sometimes, his little brother looked like he was ready to jump on him, all hands over him, lust look in the eyes, but then, he would look like the most innocent child, and Dean doesn’t know what to think. Does Sam behavior are only in his head ? It’s not the first time that he saw them, but maybe it’s just his brain which want to see things even if they aren’t here.

He sighs and take the first movie that fall under his hand, not even bothering to read the title.

When he gets back to the room, he threw the movie to his brother, and sit as far as he could from him.

“You’re okay ?” His brother asked him, worry all over his voice

“Yeah. Just put the movie”

He was aware that his voice was cold, but maybe it was best. It would put his brother away for a little time, letting time for Dean’s body to cool himself. But

Sam was looking at him with his big sad eyes, and Dean could see how hurts his brother looked. His heart aches, because he was the cause of that pain. He sighed and rubbed his eyes.

“Sorry Sammy, it’s just… It’s been a long day you know ?”

Sam gave him a smile and nodded before starting the movie. When he got back in the bed, he made sure to sit closer to Dean, who sighed in annoyance. Either Sam didn’t notice, either he didn’t care, because after the first five minutes of the movie, Sam head was resting on his shoulder. Dean could smell Sam apple shampoo, and he could feel every breath that he was taking. His dick took a particular interest when Sam put his arms around his waist. He tried to stay as still as possible, his arms static against his side. It feels nice to have Sam against him like that, feeling all his weigh on him, his heat, his smell. He was put out of his thoughts when he felt Sam’s mouth against his neck, applying sweet kiss all over his skin. Dean closed his eyes, savoring the moment. He should told Sam to stop, told him that it was bad, because for him, those kisses were all but innocent, that his dick was pressing against his jean, all awake now. But he didn’t say anything, because it was too good, he had wanted this for so long.

Sam’s mouth was now on his jaw, getting closer and closer to his lips. A little moan escaped Dean’s lips, and he could feel his brother smile against his skin.

When Sam was just a few inch away from kissing him, he stopped, looking directly at Dean’s eyes. Sam’s eyes were full of lust, all the blue practically gone, and he kept biting his lips, passing his tongue on it.

Hesitantly, he pressed his lips against his brother’s, giving him a sweet, innocent, kiss.

It was inexperienced, and it was clear that Sam never had kissed anyone. It should make him feel even guiltier, taking his brother first kiss like that, but it was quite the opposite.

When Sam kissed him again, Dean took the control and gave him a real kiss. At first, it was sweet, Dean making sure that Sam could feel all the love he has for him, that he knew what Sam means to him. But Sam was having none of that, and rapidly, the kiss turn on something more rough, more deep.

Dean was on top of Sam, between his legs, and he could feel his brother cock hard against his. He moved his mouth to his neck, kissing, sucking, and biting all the skin he could find. Under him, Sam started to rut against him, trying to hold back his moans.

“Dean” Sam whispered, eyes closed “More please”

It was too much for Dean, having his brother begging for him like that was better than everything he ever done. He pushed Sam’s shirt up enough, so he could reach his nipples, and started to caress his brother torso like he was the more delicate thing in the world.

“God, you’re so beautiful Sammy”

Sam couldn’t hold the moan that escapes his throat, his face was redder than Dean ever see it, and he couldn’t help but place a soft kiss on his brother’s lips.

There was no way he ever stopped kissing him.

He started to kiss his brother chest, then took one of his nipples in his mouth. Sam’s hips started to move, and he drops his head backward, murmuring incoherent things.

Sam forced Dean to come back to his mouth once again, kissing him like his whole life depends on it. He was moving his hips so that their cocks were rubbing against each other. Dean met his brother trust, accelerating the movement. They had too many clothes, too many things between them. Dean wanted to feel his brother’s skin against his, next time; they will have to get completely.

Dean froze. He doesn’t know if there will be next time. Maybe it’s only a onetime thing, maybe Sam’s gonna regret, or realize how fuck up this is.

“Dean? What do you stop?” Sam asked, panting

Dean straightened. He couldn’t do that to his brother. Couldn’t take his innocence like that, Sam doesn’t know what he wants, and Dean just took advantage of that.

“I can’t Sam. It’s not… I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry” Dean gets up and starts to walk forward the door. He had to get out of here, away from Sam.

He stopped moving when he received a pillow on the back of his head.

“Don’t you dare walk out of this room!” Sam yelled, standing on the bed

“Sammy, I… I can’t do that to you” Dean whispered

Sam laughed, anger and hurt still present on his face. It was killing Dean to see him suffer like that.

“Do that to me? You didn’t do anything to me Dean. That was me. I did it. All of it. I wanted it” Tears were rolling on his cheek now “Please Dean, if you don’t want this because… Because you don’t love it, then fine, I will never do anything, but if you don’t do this because you think you’re abusing me, than I’m gonna fucking quick your ass”

Sam never looked so sure of him, so confident. For a second, it was like Dean was the little brother. He was amazed by his brother, and if it was possible, he would love him even more.

He walked forward the bed, standing in front of Sam, and putted his arms around his waist. Sam put his arms around his neck, and without any warning, locked his legs around his hips. Dean was supporting all of his brother weigh, so he placed his hands under his ass. Sam approached his head from him, and then, they were kissing again.

“If you want me to stop just say it okay?” Dean asked, breaking the kiss

Sam rolled his eyes, and kisses him again, “Shut up” he murmured against his lips

When did Dean got so lucky? Here, with his little brother against his body, nothing could be better.

He putted them on the bed, still locked against each other, and dropped a kiss on his brother forehead.

“You mean so much to me Sammy. Never forget that”

Sam gave him the most shinnying smile he ever seen, his eyes were wet and dark, and his breathing was jerky. Dean could felt his heart beating against his.

The only response Dean got was another deep kiss, full of love and promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the comments, I hope you like this chapter !  
> Feel free to leave comments, I love reading them !


	6. Family time

**Chapter 6 - Family time**

 Dean was in the garage, working on the Impala, when he felt a couple of arms around his waist. He smiled and put his head out of the hood, savoring the feeling of his brother’s body against his. Sam dropped little kisses on his neck, while his hands were moving under his shirt. Dean turned himself, so he could kiss Sam properly, and he grabbed Sam’s ass with both hands, pressing their body even tighter.

“What are you doing here Sammy ?”

Sam put another kiss on his lips, way more innocent and sweet than before.

“Katherine told us to spend time with family. So here I am”

“Pretty sure she wasn’t talking about me” Dean laughs, pushing himself away from Sam, so he could close the hood of the car.

“Well she didn’t say it” Sam says, rolling his eyes

Dean turns around, placing both of his hands on Sam waist. It’s been one week since their first kiss, and it’s still felt unreal. They didn’t talk about what it means to them, or even how they fell about it. There wasn’t really a lot they could talk about, and Dean was afraid that if he says something, everything would crash down. There was no way he lets that happened. For now, they only share kisses, but Dean was more than glad with that. He didn’t want to force Sam to do anything. Plus, it wasn’t really easy for them to do something when their room was next to their father’s.

They were kissing again, practically fucking each other mouth, when Dean putted Sam on the hood of the car, placing himself between his legs.

Sam moans loudly, all his blood going straight to his cock. He would never tell Dean, but he loves when his brother was caring him like he was nothing more than a feather. He loves how strong Dean was, how safe he makes him feel. They both take their shirt off, needing to feel the other as close as possible.

“More, Dean please…” He begged, not really sure of what he wanted

“What do you want baby ?” Dean was rutting against him, hardness against hardness, and it was so good but so not enough

“I don’t… I don’t know”

Dean unzips both of them pants, taking Sam’s one completely out, then he did the same with their underwear. Sam was breathing hard now, looking every parcel of Dean body. They have seen each other naked a lot of time, but it was different now, their relation was different. His brother was glorious, all strong and pale, with freckles everywhere. Sam wanted nothing more than to lick each one of them. They will have time for that later.

Dean was back between his legs, the feeling of skin against skin way better, and he took both of their cock in one hand and started to jerk them off.

“Fuck Dean” Sam put his arms around his brother neck, rising himself up from the hood, legs around Dean’s waist.

His brother put his other hand on Sam’s ass, trying to support him, and it sends another wave of pleasure in Sam’s body.

“Dean I… Touch me, please touch me”

“Here Sammy ?” Dean slips his hand between Sam’s cheeks, one of his fingers caressing his hole.

Sam eyes practically rolled inside his head. It was good, so good to feel Dean touching him down star.

“Have you ever down that Sam ? Ever touch yourself here ?” His brother whispers in his ear

“Y-Yeah” Sam managed to say, face red from the admission, “Didn’t… Didn’t felt so good”

“What were you thinking about ?”

“Y-You. Only you. Your… Your finger and your… Your dick. How they would feel inside of me”

Dean lets out a moan and Sam couldn’t help but feel proud. He was the one making Dean moans like that, no one else but him. Dean accelerates the stroke, precum all over them, and they both came in the same time, yelling each other name.

They fall on the ground, Sam on Dean’s lap, back against the car. They were panting, still coming down from their orgasms.

“Should do family time more often” Whispers Dean, laughing at his own joke

Sam rolls his eyes but couldn’t help but smile. It was unbelievable how happy Dean could make him feel. He wanted to stay like that forever, on his brother laps, arms around each other, like nothing else exist or even matter.

“We should move. Don’t want someone to see us like that right ?”

Dean didn’t wait for an answer before taking his shirt and cleaning both of them. Sam was too tired to do anything else then letting Dean do everything. His brother smiled to him and dropped a little kiss on his nose. It was funny, how sweet Dean was becoming, leaving his macho side fade away when they were only together.

“Lazybones” Dean whispers, putting Sam jeans up. “Com’on babe, we need to be ready for dinner”

Sam sights. He hates how they always have to eat all together. It was hard to admit, but he kinda misses the way their life used to be. He always wanted a normal life, and really, he still does, but not like that, not this life.

“Wanna take a shower before ?” Dean asked seductively. And really, how Sam could refuse ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting sooner, I've got pretty big stuff going on so I wasn't in a writting mood.   
> Anyway, told me what you think about this chapter and the story in general !


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